Hunter Wellies by Royal Appointment

What in the name of bloody hell has happened to Hunter Wellies? Back in the day when I was about to become a teenager and all this was still fields, Hunter wellies were the wellington boot to have. They were popular because they were the first welly that was allegedly safe to ride in but they were darned expensive too.

The cheaper, hard rubber wellies that you could buy in your local shoe shop for a fiver were somewhat lethal in the stirrup. They were too wide, both across the foot and in the leg and being so rigid if you were in the process of falling off, there was a real risk that the boot would remain stuck in the stirrup and you would get dragged along the road with your head bouncing off the tarmac. In comparison, the Hunter welly was smooth, flexible and very comfortable to walk or ride in.

When I was 11, my friend The Train Organiser had a pair of Hunter wellies that had been passed down to her when her sister outgrew them. To her, being hand-me-downs, she treated these wellies without regard; and it broke my heart. In those days, you could have any colour Hunter welly you wanted; as long as you wanted green. They were the first wellies to have those lovely little silver buckles on the side that gradually worked themselves loose and made a lovely tinkly noise as you walked. These buckles were meant to adjust the width of the boot; they didn’t work at all but they looked lovely.

When I was about 15, I went to a saddlery shop and bought myself a pair of navy blue Barbour wellies. I bought them because the saddlers in question didn’t stock Hunters. The Barbour’s were very comfortable and cost more than Hunters; but to me they weren’t the same. They did however last for years and I finally had to buy another pair of wellies when I was 18. By this time Hunter wellies had been copied madly and you could buy some really good, similar wellies for half the price of a Hunter set. I was very proud of my “Yeoman” wellies, until the day when the boss and I were riding side by side along the road and her horse chose to spin around and crush my leg. It ripped the buckle off my right welly and left me with a bruised knee and a welly with a flappy strap. Despite this, I wore them until the rubber perished and they leaked so badly that I had to place each foot in a carrier bag before putting them on, if I was venturing anywhere damp.

When I was mid twenties, I was gifted my first pair of Hunters by a lady who got cramp when trying to put them on. They were navy blue and lasted me for years. They were the perfect example of what Hunter call the “Original Boot”, they were freezing cold and as slippery as a slug when you were trying to walk on mud.

It was 1956 when the Hunter’s Original Boot was born and apparently today they are still made from the original last and handcrafted from 28 parts. In 1977 Hunter was awarded a Royal Warrant by Appointment to HRH Duke of Edinburgh and in 1986 to HM The Queen.

How does Her Royal Majesty and Highness The Queen cope with the Duchess of Cambridge wearing Le Chameau’s and not the Royal Appointed Hunter welly?

Scene 1

The Palace of Buck.

Her Maj: Philip darling, would you pour me a gin, One simply must make an urgent phone call before Eastenders begins. (She picks up the telephone and begins to dial)

Phil The Greek: Of course my little cupcake, I will do it straight away. (He hums the tune “I Vow To Thee My Country” as he exits stage left)

Her Maj: (Slightly under her breath) Come on, come on, answer the bloody phone, One hasn’t got all bloody night. (Slightly louder) What is it about young people? Too much time playing on their bloody X Boxes to……Ah William darling. Is Kate there?

Scene cuts to “Norfolk Hall”, the home of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge:

Wills: Oh, hi Granny. No, no, I’m afraid Kate is watching Emmerdale and she said that she is not at home to guests. She said that if I disturb her, I won’t be allowed to play polo on Friday.

Palace of Buck:

Her Maj: One is terribly sorry about that William, but One really needs to speak to her. Do they have a reserve player they can field on Friday? One can send Harry if they are going to be short of someone?

Norfolk Hall

Wills: Oh, well yes, yes, I suppose, Pippa will be there after all. I’ll give her a shout. (He presses the receiver into his shoulder and shouts loudly towards stage right) Kate! Granny’s on the phone for you!

(Inaudible shouting from stage right)

Wills: (Shouting) I know that you said you were unavailable for consultation but for fuck’s sake Kate, it’s Granny! Get your arse in here NOW!

(Kate enters stage right, she is wearing a onesie and her hair is in rollers. She snatches the telephone from William, gesticulates angrily at his polo sticks which are leaning against the wall and then draws her index finger across her throat)

Wills: (Whispering) She could have you killed, you know.

Kate: (To William) Whatever. (In a bored voice) Hi Granny.

Palace of Buck

Her Maj: Kate, darling, One is so sorry to drag you away from your common soap opera, but One simply cannot believe that you have been photographed again by the Daily Mail wearing those bloody foreign wellington boots.

Norfolk Hall

Kate: Oh yar, my Le Chameau’s.

Palace of Buck

Her Maj: (Sighing) Kate, darling, we have discussed this before. Hunter wellingtons are by Appointment to One, please make an effort to wear the free ones that One gave you.

Norfolk Hall

Kate: But Granny, my Le Chameau’s are just so great. I mean, they are so cosy and warm with their neoprene lining and the soles are so grippy. I mean, they are just so the best wellingtons ever.

Palace of Buck

Her Maj: Kate, darling, One hears what One is saying but Hunter wellingtons are by Royal Appointment. Would it help if One got you another pair in pink?

Norfolk Hall

Kate: Not really Granny because Hunter wellies are shit.

Palace of Buck

Her Maj: (As she replaces the telephone receiver) Buggar.

Phil The Greek: (From stage left) I bloody told you, cupcake! They really are shit wellies!

I came across an American blogger the other day who advised me of 5 ways to wear Hunter wellies. Rubbish, I thought, I can think of at least 10 ways to wear Hunter wellies, for example:

1.         With jodhpurs

2.         With jeans

3.         Under waterproof trousers

4.         With jodhpurs

5.         With jeans

6.         Under waterproof trousers

7.         With jeans

8.         With jodhpurs

9.         With jeans

10.       Under waterproof trousers

But no, it turns out that Hunter wellies can actually be worn with shorts and most shocking of all, they can be worn with dresses. Crickey Moses, if I ventured out in a dress and my Hunter wellies there’s more chance of me being sectioned than noticed.

Back in the day, Hunter was founded by an American bloke, Henry Lee Norris. He started the North British Rubber Company when he arrived in Scotland and later this company began trading as Hunter.

There were just 4 employees to begin with but by the mid 1870s the company had 600 staff members. At the start of World War I the production at the factory in Edinburgh rose dramatically as the War Office ordered sturdy rubber boots for the soldiers in the trenches. The production ran 24 hours a day to keep up with demand and they supplied 1,185,036 pairs of boots to the British Army. They did such a good job that they were called upon again in 1939 after the outbreak of World War II.

The Hunter welly is unrecognisable these days. There are tall boots, short boots, Chelsea boots, ankle boots and a whole page on their website dedicated to how to look fab at a Festival.

But I suppose this is genius of Hunter; for they have moved with the times and their market place is now vast.

Real and proper country people wear Aigle wellies. They are the wellies of champions that can be worn all day, everyday and they last for years.

I can’t afford Aigle wellies, so I am reduced to trawling the internet until I find a company that is selling Hunter seconds. They are a fraction of the price of the “unblemished” ones and once they are covered in mud; you can’t see their imperfections. My faithful Hunter Balmoral wellies are lined with bamboo carbon fleece and have so far lasted me 6 and a half winters. They are sadly not a patch on the 5mm neoprene lined Seeland wellies that I had (briefly) before them, but the lovely Seeland wellies didn’t even last 2 months before the lining came away. I also have a “Summer” pair of Hunter seconds. I’ve had them for 9 years, the rubber has now perished and they leak over my toes when I walk in wet grass. I should throw them out because wellies that leak are simply shoes, but I can’t quite bring myself to put them in the wheelie bin just yet. Because I know that I will have to hold a minute’s silence when I close the bin lid, honouring my faithful Hunter’s that are lying in silence, with just each other for company in the dark. I might even have a Wake for the summer wellies before I start surfing the interweb to find a replacement pair.

You can become attached to your wellies; you know.

Should Her Royal Majesty and Highness ever get around to reading this; well Mam, I hate to break it to you, but Hunter wellies are no longer made at their birthplace in Edinburgh, but are now made in China.

Shame.