New View from the Saddle

I am totally in the shit.

I’ve bought another horse.

And I need another horse like I need my left foot amputated.

I haven’t yet mentioned this new addition to Other Half and as it is a different colour to the current horse; I think he might notice.

I say that because I have a friend who has 2 horses that are a similar size and the same colour. As her husband only ever sees her riding one horse at a time, he is blissfully unaware that she actually owns 2 horses. I have read stories that some people even go to the lengths of having their multiple horses at different livery yards to throw their partner off the scent of their various purchases. I can’t go to either of these extremes because you can see my paddock from my lounge window and I cannot afford to keep a horse at a livery yard.

I didn’t mean to purchase another equine, in fact I walked away the first time I saw him. But he was such a pretty pony and it made me sad seeing how lonely and neglected he was that I did something that you should never do; I bought him because I felt sorry for him.

I had no riding gear with me at the time and therefore I also bought the bloody thing without trying him first.

This has become a bit of a habit as I bought Wet Dishcloth Horse using the same method. Luckily the lady in Bolton who sold him to me was truthful about the horse’s problems and happy to accept payment for him via bank transfer. Lancashire Lass was also honest enough that after receiving her money she still put the horse onto the lorry that I sent to collect him. Buying a horse from someone you have spoken to only twice on the phone is a colossal gamble.

That’s the thing about the horse world; sometimes, occasionally, usually, people selling horses can be a little liberal with the truth. For example when an advert reads “horse wasted in current home” you can be absolutely certain that this translates as “we’re all absolutely shitting ourselves about riding it”. “Experienced home only” means “this horse is an absolute nutter and will bury a novice rider in seconds” and “has potential” usually means “was broken in by a professional and no-one else has been able to stay on it since”.

And now in the suing culture that has enveloped the world in general, if you are broad of mind concerning fiction and reality and the new owner gets injured by the horse that you sold to them, there is a good chance that you’ll end up in court.

When Wet Dishcloth Horse arrived 3 years ago, my Farrier came to fit him with new shoes and remarked what a nice horse he was.

“Can you ride him?" he asked.

“He’s broken to ride.” I replied.

Farrier threw down his cigarette end and trod on it. “Jodhpurs, have you actually seen him ridden?”

“Well, I’ve seen a video on Facetube that was taken by someone on board him.” then I frowned for a moment before adding “At least I think it’s him. It was the same colour as him anyway.”

The next day after a struggle to get the bridle on Wet Dishcloth Horse (and I was fully expecting this, as the old owner had informed me of this issue) I led him quietly out of the stable, lay my weight over his back a couple of times and then hopped on him and never looked back.

He was terribly wobbly when you turned him in a tight circle and when I had to open or close a gate from the saddle I realised that he hadn’t yet learnt how to balance the rider’s weight. I concluded that he hadn’t been ridden very much but he was honest and safe so we plugged on with his training. 9 months later the previous owner contacted me to inform me that she had been mislead too and that poor, poor Wet Dishcloth Horse had never been broken. No wonder he was so confused with life. Regrettably, horses cannot talk and therefore problem horses are often classified as such because there has been a terrible miscommunication in the past.

So today was the first time that I took the new pony for a test ride and knowing nothing about his history, I was braced for the worst that he could throw at me.

And do you know, he was lovely, absolutely lovely. He’s a bit stiff in fact some people might even use the term “wooden” but he was absolutely no bother at all. And I am sure that he will become more flexible once we begin doing some dressage.

Although Other Half (I think) will have a seizure when I tell him about the new addition, on the up side the new horse is smaller than current horse and will cost next to nothing to feed. He also doesn’t wear shoes so that’s another bonus.

The only small problem today was when I carefully introduced him to Wet Dishcloth Horse the new pony got his ear nibbled. I took this to be a sign of acceptance until new pony gave a whinny and Wet Dishcloth Horse almost had a convulsion.

Anyway I look forward to posting many between the ears photos from my new pony and I hope you like them.