In my last post, I told you about my wonderful Boxing Day.
A trip to the Holy Island of Lindisfarne, delicious Bloody
Mary Soup, horse racing from Kempton
Park and Mary Poppins on the
television.
There was one thing that marred the day ever so slightly and
it occurred when I was in my favourite reclining position on the sofa whilst
watching Mary Poppins.
Britney (Not her real name) had been given a new game for
her X Box and as she and Other Half were trying to figure it out, I was in the
lap of luxury – in the lounge with the big television and surround sound. On.
My. Own.
This is something of a rarity and I was thoroughly enjoying
it.
Then Britney came into the lounge to ask a question, just as
Mary, Bert, Jane and Michael jumped into Bert’s chalk drawing.
“That is so fake.” said Britney as she returned to her X
Box.
Even though I retorted that the film was made in 1964 and
that kind of trickery was ground-breaking at the time, I have to confess I was
a bit hurt that Britney was pouring scorn on one of my favourite films.
It’s not surprising though.
Britney is used to Finding Dory and Moana on Blu Ray and
let’s face it, they look a lot more believable than Mary’s horse breaking free from
the carousel and winning a horse race.
But her remark got me thinking.
I have seen the film Mary Poppins a little over 163,000
times and yet it had never crossed my mind how Bert managed to hold down so
many jobs. No wonder he didn’t want to sweep Mrs Bank’s chimney (that’s not a
euphemism) as the Lord Mayor’s was needing done. If he was a one man band 1
day, an artist the next and then selling bloody kites whenever the wind got up,
when the hell did he get the chance to sweep all the other chimneys?
I’d love to see his CV. You would be putting it in the
“can’t hold down a job and is easily bored” pile if you were shortlisting for
interviews.
And if Bert only sweeps chimneys one day a week, how does he
know so many other chimney sweeps? Do they all just work one day a week? I’m
not surprised the London
smog was horrendous if all the chimney sweeps regularly bunked off work so they
could get together on the roof in the hope of a quick knees up with Mary
Poppins. She should have been encouraging them to get on with their work
instead of tapping her feet and cheering when they jumped over their chimney
brushes. Mary even cavorts with a number of the sweeps during this tea dance
among the chimneys and I can’t help but feel that her conduct is sending out
the wrong signals. Especially as when Admiral Boom starts aiming fireworks at
them, they all end up back at Mary’s place. Thank goodness Mr and Mrs Banks
returned home before any major tom-foolery could be undertaken. The Banks
family should count themselves lucky that all the chimney sweeps did was terrorise
their staff for a very short length of time.
And was it really appropriate for Mary and Bert to have tea
together, alone with just some penguin waiters as chaperones? She even insults poor
Bert by singing to him that although he’s just a “diamond in the rough”
underneath his “blood is blue”. Should Bert not be horribly offended by that
remark? It’s a bit like saying “Bert, you’re a bit of a scruff but you act like
a posh bloke at the end of the day”. And whilst Mary is beaming and Bert is
altering his trousers to resemble that of MC Hammer, what are Jane and Michael
getting up to? They could have eaten their own bodyweight in candy floss and
won 15 goldfish a piece by the time Mary and Bert rocked up to the fairground.
At least in1910 there wasn’t an 18 page risk assessment and an online
compliance form to complete before taking the children on an outing so that’s a
bonus.
The children obviously loved the magical days with their nanny,
but how many years must Jane and Michael have had in counselling to get over a
tea party on the ceiling?
Therapist: Yes, yes, I’m sure there was a tea party on the
ceiling…
Jane: But there was! Mary Poppins even said I could pour
some milk for us to drink.
Therapist: I’m going to prescribe you with some medicine,
Jane. It will make all these bad thoughts completely disappear and you will
feel completely relaxed.
Jane: (Hammering fists on the table) How many more times do
I have to tell you? There was a bloody tea party ON THE CEILING!!
Therapist: (Smiling) Yes, of course there was Jane, now if
you would just put your arms in this straight jacket…..
Scarred for life.
Imagine both of them drifting through the rest of their
lives thinking that every time a dog barked it was actually saying something,
that Greenwich Mean Time was taken from Admiral Boom and that Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
was a truly acceptable thing to say when you are stuck for words.
I’m a little perturbed about Mary’s manipulation regarding
the whole tuppence-gate affair as well. Too be fair it probably would be better
spending your money on feeding the birds rather than entrusting it to the bank,
but pigeons are simply vermin with wings that get in the way and shit all over
everything. Perhaps if they had been endangered songbirds or parrots I would be
more with Michael on this one. And the kerfuffle that ensues when Michael digs
his heels in is nothing short of calamitous.
If I had done something that had ended up getting my Dad sacked
especially if my Mum was out all day raising awareness of the lack of women’s
voting conveniences, I would have been running much, much faster than Jane and
Michael. In fact the vagrants and beggars of the East End of London would have
been the least of my worries.
It was just as well that Bert was on his chimney sweep day
to help them home after they’d run away otherwise they’d probably have ended up
sweeping chimneys themselves. Can you imagine what would have happened if he’d
been on his one-man-band job that day? Jane and Michael might not have made it.
You would have thought that Mr Banks would have had to work
some kind of period of notice too, especially as he had worked at the bank for
so long. And he must have done other bad things at work. There would have to
have been 1 verbal and 2 written warnings before they could vandalise his
umbrella and ravage his bowler hat so badly that it let the rain in. And as his
Father had worked for the bank as well, I can only conclude that loyalty must
mean absolutely nothing to this company.
After having his employment terminated, Mr Banks then
returns home shitfaced and humiliated, wondering how he can continue to afford
to pay the nanny, cook and maid and heads straight to the cellar to make the
most rubbish job of mending Jane and Michael’s kite.
And it took him all night.
All night to stick a bit of tape on a kite.
It took Walt Disney nearly 20 years to strike a deal with
Pamela Travers who wrote the Mary Poppins books and by all accounts she was a very
difficult woman to please. Travers was not happy with the animation, the music (she
treated the Sherman
brothers who wrote and composed the music for the film appallingly) and was not
invited to the film’s premier. She was so aghast by the whole film making
process that when she was approached years later regarding the making of
British stage musical, she requested that only English born writers be used and
no-one from the original film production be involved. These points were even
stipulated in her last will and testament, ensuring that Disney would never be
allowed to get involved with her Mary Poppins stories ever again. Clearly when
she finally agreed to give Walt Disney the film rights to Mary Poppins, the
royalties from her books had dried up and she was facing a very hard time
financially. Travers was interviewed in 1977 and said that she had seen the film
a few times and had learnt to live with it. She said “It’s glamorous and it’s a
good film on its own level, but I don’t think it is very like my books”.
During the film’s initial run it grossed $31-33 million. In
honour of Walt Disney Productions’ 50th anniversary it was released
theatrically in 1973 and earned an estimated $9 million in American rentals. It
was released once more in 1980 earning another $14 million and has a lifetime
gross of over $100 million, quite a feat for a film that was made on a $6
million budget.
Mary Poppins was nominated for 13 Academy Awards and won 5
of them (1 of them for Best Visual Effects, Britney). It was nominated for 2
Golden Globes and won 1, won 2 Grammys and The Writers Guild of America awarded
it Best Written Musical.
Mary Poppins was the first Disney film to be released on DVD
in July 2000 and on 14th December 2004 it had a 2 disc release in a
digitally restored 40th anniversary edition. It was released again
on 27th January 2009 as a 45th anniversary edition and
was released on Blu-ray as the 50th anniversary edition on 10th
December 2013.
If the film Mary Poppins was a person she would be driven
everywhere in a 1960s Cadillac. She would wear diamonds and fur and would make
time to speak to every person at the side of the red carpet. She would
willingly stop for autographs and as time progressed, selfies, with her fans.
She would do breakfast time television interviews with exceptional charm and would
be able to have a glass of champagne and still hold her decorum. As her years
advanced she would hold the respect of all the up and coming films as they
would be humble in her presence and value what she had achieved in 1964. She
would even have the grace to forgive Dick Van Dyke’s Irish voice coach for
telling him that his cockney accent was acceptable.
She would indeed be practically perfect in every way.
You can definitely see your expertise within the article you
ReplyDeletewrite. The world hopes for more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid
to say how they believe. All the time go after your heart.